Confrontation... isn't that a scary word! I've heard many excuses for not confronting people. Some of these came right out of my mouth. Confrontation is a valuable part of these groups. If teens have truly established what they want out of these groups, and how to go about them, then they have - in essense -spelled out the framework and some rules they believe are important to follow. Just to refresh, here are the 5 statements most groups have agreed with.

1. We want smaller groups to build authentic relationships and which create the environment that allows everyone to participate.
2. We want to be a people who listen passionately.
3. We want to love each other unselfishly. We demand equality, strive for openness that allows for sharing of struggles, hurts and successes. 
4. We want to deepen our faith with other Christ-followers and honor Christ in all we do.  
5. We will strive to develop a Christ-like attitude, love each other, a focus on prayer, service and sharing our faith. 

 Practically, what do you think should be done in the following settings?

• One person spends most of their time talking. It's constructive but they are drowning out the other people in the room.
• Students aren't stepping up to lead in any of the conversations or when they study the Bible.
• Students aren't stepping up to lead in any outreach activities.
• Students aren't even showing up to the outreach activities.
• Students are living a life completely different than the one they present when they meet each week.

Why do we fear confrontation so much?

I know that I've gotten to the point now where I don't care if a student likes me. That may be harsh but I mean it in the most loving way. I want them to know that I have their best interests in mind regardless of whether they like what I say about a particular situation. I believe the 5 examples above are dealt with the same way. In the end, students will respect the fact that you are holding them accoutable. 

I've used 1 Thessalonians 1:3 and I want to contrast it with Galatians. Galatians was probably the first letter written and 1 Thessalonians was most likely the second. Other than those two, Paul basically says to his readers that he is remembering them in his prayers. In 1 Thess. he specifically prays for what they are doing, their work produced by faith, labor prompted by love, and endurance inspired by hope in Christ. Now for Galatians. It's not as kind. In fact, I think it's highly confrontational. Galatians 1:6-7 "I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ." He's confronting their willingness to try to live in their previous life by adapting the Jewish laws while trying to live a new life in Christ - A life of freedom.